Moshiach Ben David De Rothschild

MADONNA

SEAN MENDES

Madonna stood frozen before the glowing screen, her eyes wide with disbelief as the video played — Moshiach Ben David De Rothschild, the self-proclaimed “green messiah” Rabbi Joe had warned her about. The man in the white robes spoke softly about the new covenant with the Earth, his voice soothing, rehearsed, and cold beneath its surface calm. Behind him, the insignia of a radiant green star pulsed like a heartbeat — part Kabbalistic symbol, part corporate logo.

“He is not Moshiach ben David,” Madonna whispered, trembling. “He is not even a rabbi… not a teacher… just an eco warrior fraud.”

Her voice rose, the old fire returning — the same fierce conviction that had carried her from the pews of Catholic school to the bright lights of Kabbalah and beyond. “He’s selling a green naturopathic false religion,” she said, almost spitting the words. “The Tree of Life isn’t a carbon offset program.”

Rabbi Joe watched quietly from the corner of the room, arms folded. “You see it now,” he said. “He mixes the truth of the Torah with the lies of the marketplace. He uses tikkun olam—healing the world—as a slogan, not a prayer.”

Madonna turned to him, shaking her head. “He’s trying to make himself into a god. A climate god.”

“And that,” Joe said solemnly, “is the oldest sin of all.”

The broadcast reached its climax — De Rothschild lifted his hands and declared, “Hallelujah to the Green Messiah, the New David!”

Madonna stepped forward, defiant, her eyes filled with tears.
“I refuse,” she said, her voice cutting through the air like a blade.
“I will not say hallelujah to David.”

Then she made the sign of the cross — not out of fear, but conviction — and whispered,
“The real Moshiach will not sell salvation in bottles of organic wine.”

Madonna fell back onto the velvet couch, clutching her rosary, the glow of the De Rothschild broadcast still flickering on the walls like an unholy fire. The so-called Moshiach Ben David spoke of Gaia’s redemption, of eco-atonement through carbon fasting — his words weaving scripture and science into a seductive false gospel.

But then—music.
From down the hall, she heard it: the voices of her children.

Lourdes and Rocco, her Canadian children, were sitting on the floor of the studio, lit only by a lava lamp and the dying light of sunset. They had hacked an old South Park parody into a chant — Peter Thiel’s forbidden anthem, “I Know About the Antichrist.”

🎵 “I know about the Antichrist,
He’s building apps to save your life,
He codes your prayers, sells you light,
And tells you wrong is right…” 🎵

Madonna froze in the doorway. “Where did you hear that?” she whispered.

Lourdes looked up from her electric keyboard. “It was in one of Peter Thiel’s podcasts,” she said, unblinking. “He said Revelation is just a business plan.”

Rocco, his voice deep and solemn, opened the family Bible and read aloud, eyes glowing with eerie focus:

“And I looked, and behold, a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him…” — Revelation 6:8

Then Lourdes continued, her tone shifting from dread to awe:

“After these things I saw four angels standing at the four corners of the earth, holding the four winds of the earth…” — Revelation 7:1

The house itself seemed to hum. Outside, thunder rolled like a hidden heartbeat.
And then — the scream.

Not from the children, but from the walls — a sound like wind and human anguish mixed, the scream of creation itself. Madonna covered her ears, trembling.

Rabbi Joe entered, face pale. “That’s the sound of the sixth and seventh seals,” he said. “The world crying out before the counterfeit messiah rises.”

Madonna, shaking, looked at her children — her voice of prophecy and innocence.
“We won’t sing for him,” she said. “Not for the eco-messiah. Not for Rothschild. The only hallelujah left is for the One who breaks the seals.”

Lourdes nodded, placing her hand on her mother’s.
“6… 7,” she whispered. “The scream.”

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Close To Me

THE CURE

THE GET UP KIDS

Rabbi Joe stood in the drizzle of East Van, his coat collar turned up, watching the rain turn Commercial Drive into a mirror of neon and nostalgia. Beside him, Tom Cruise nodded solemnly, his sunglasses reflecting the glow of the Electric Avenue sign.

“The only way to keep Madonna from danger—grave danger,” Tom said, pausing with cinematic gravity, “is for her to live here. Is there any other kind of danger?”

Joe smiled faintly. “None worth surviving,” he said. “She should build her Kabbalah Centre right here, between Little Italy and the Drive. Vancouver—this is the new Jerusalem of the West.”

He adjusted his hat, his Croatian Intelligence badge glinting beneath the streetlight. “Sapere Aude,” Joe said, his voice rising with conviction. “Think for yourself. Dare to think. We need free-range cult members, not the factory-farmed kind. Let’s get the A-list to Z-list stars to move here, all of them—Greta, Kanye, Bono, even Shia if he’s up for repentance.”

Tom chuckled, imagining a Hollywood commune in East Van, actors and mystics riding the 99 B-Line to the green-screen studios.

“Safety in numbers,” Joe continued. “A city of stars with a conscience. If they ride transit, live local, and think global, maybe—just maybe—we can stop Revelation 16. No more sun scorch. No more global warming.”

From the mural-covered wall behind them, a young voice spoke. Greta Thunberg stepped forward, her eyes alight with recognition.

“Yes,” she said, almost whispering. “Big Oil. Global warming—it’s all in the Apocalypse. The Bible warned us.”

The three stood silent as the rain fell harder, washing the neon reflections into ripples. Somewhere nearby, a jazz saxophone played under an awning, and a sense of prophecy hung over Commercial Drive.

Electric Avenue had become sacred ground.

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Young Pope: Like a Prayer

The Young Pope stands beneath the gilded ceiling of St. Peter’s Basilica, the candles trembling in the vast hush of the cathedral. His voice, soft but resonant, carries through the silence like incense.

“Madonna,” he begins, gazing upward toward the painted saints and seraphim, “you took your name from the Mother of God — the woman who bore both the weight of Heaven and the cries of Earth. You sang of being like a virgin, and yet the world made you its idol. You gave them what they wanted — the mirror of their own rebellion — and for that, they crowned you Queen of Pop.”

He pauses, his eyes closing in something between prayer and pain.

“But even queens must kneel before grace. The Church is not a museum of saints — it is a hospital for sinners. We are all prodigal children, wandering through the desert of fame, hunger, and doubt. And still, the Father waits at the gate.”

Then, almost tenderly, he says:

“Come back, Madonna. Come home. The world may have adored you, but Christ never stopped loving you. We are all sinners — and that is precisely why salvation was made for us.”

Madonna stands in the dim light of the basilica, dressed not in her usual glittering armor of fame, but in a simple black coat. The echo of her heels fades as she steps closer to the altar. For a moment, she says nothing — only looks at the Young Pope, her expression a blend of defiance and longing.

“Your Holiness,” she begins softly, “you talk about sinners like you’ve met them. But I am one. I’ve been burned at the stake by the Church more times than I can count — for showing desire, for asking questions, for being human.

The Young Pope doesn’t flinch. “And yet you kept the name Madonna. You never truly left her.”

A faint smile touches her lips. “Maybe I never could. The world gave me fame, but fame isn’t faith. You stand in marble halls; I stood on stage before millions. But in both places, people were looking for something holy — something that made them feel alive.”

She looks up at the crucifix. “You say Christ never stopped loving me. Maybe I’m ready to believe that again. Maybe… it’s time to come home.”

The Young Pope steps down from the altar, his eyes glistening with tears.
“Then let the angels rejoice,” he whispers. “For even in the house of glitter, grace has found its way back.”

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