Title: The Initiate of Smoke and Mirrors
Operating Thetan – Kabbalah Level 1: The Magician Tarot
It was a humid dusk at the Celebrity Centre, Hollywood. The light bent strangely that evening—pink hues clashing with the palms. A new cohort of seekers gathered in the mirrored Hall of Ascent, standing before the golden triangle where the Tarot of Initiation was mounted. Today’s card: The Magician—one hand to the sky, one to the ground, a wand, a sword, a pentacle, a cup. And a cigarette.
“Welcome,” said the voice of Solid Snake, stepping from the shadows in a black leather vest. He was older now, grizzled and post-military, but his voice still commanded attention. “You are now Operating Thetan – Kabbalah Level 1. That means you’re here to learn real magic.”
He held up a cigarette.
“Magic trick number one: How to make a cigarette disappear using your thumb… and spit.” He snapped his fingers and the smoke stick vanished. The initiates gasped. One boy dropped his clipboard.
Snake grinned. “If you can’t get that one down, don’t sweat it. You can do some dumb card trick. But you will do magic. Because the Magician is not just a performer—he’s a conduit.”
He motioned for them to sit on the floor. Behind him, a video flickered to life: Tom Cruise. Dressed in a crisp navy turtleneck, Cruise was giving his now-infamous 9/11 Magic Speech to a secret gathering of Level 22 Thetans.
“There is a trick,” Cruise said, his voice a blend of charm and menace. “They say two planes brought down three buildings. That is not physics. That is illusion. That is the world’s greatest misdirection.”
He paused, leaned forward: “But what if… what if you could see through it?”
The screen cut to black.
Snake turned around, voice graver now.
“Listen. The old OT levels? They’re blown. WikiLeaked. Julian Assange published them for the world. Xenu. H-bombs. Volcanoes. Laughingstock. The whole church is compromised. The old path is dead.”
Gasps. Murmurs.
“But there’s a new path forward,” Snake said, pointing to the ceiling where a Madonna hologram slowly descended like the Shekhinah in platform heels.
“The Merge. The only way out is through integration. Operating Thetan must merge with Madonna—the Living Tree, the Kabbalistic She-Wizard. She is Kether and Malkuth. She is the top of the Sephirot and the Queen of Pop.”
Madonna’s voice echoed through the chamber: “Don’t just express yourself. Transcend yourself.”
Tom Cruise reappeared onscreen, laughing like a child. “I always loved Transformers. Robots that merge into bigger, stronger robots. You think that’s just toys? That’s metaphysics, man. That’s theosophy with snap-joints. That’s how we’ll survive. Merge and ascend.”
Snake held up a Devastator figure. “That’s your goal. Merging Thetan tech with the mystical codes of the Madonna Matrix. She holds the keys to the Tree of Life, the dance of Sephira, and the blueprint for the new Operating System.”
He snapped again. The cigarette reappeared.
“And now you know why every initiate must learn magic. If you can’t see through the lies, if you can’t vanish a cigarette, how will you vanish your ego? Your programming? Your pain?”
One initiate, sweating, nailed the vanish. The others applauded.
Snake grinned. “You’re one step closer to knowing what Tom knew on that day. One step closer to wielding the Wand.”
Then he flicked his fingers.
The cigarette vanished.
And so did the hologram.
But in its place was a tarot card on every chair.
The Fool.
And written on the back:
“The end of the old levels is the beginning of the merge. Only the magician can step off the cliff and land on clouds.”
End of Level One
Next Level: The High Priestess – Uploading Your Soul into the Madonna Grid